20 Lines A Day

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The Little Black Dress & More

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Every woman who leads a social life needs and usually owns a “little black dress”.  These days that need probably surfaces at about the age of ten.  A ridiculous turn of affairs in my opinion, but hardly relevant to my tale of woe.  I last owned “the dress” in the late sixties.  It was quite svelte; the fabric was clingy crepe.  I last wore it in San Francisco during a dinner date with the intended of a disliked and previous roommate.  In my earlier years I possessed few scruples when it came to attractive men and, with no conscious urging on my part, he was the one who proposed the rendevous.  I should mention now that I was a heavy cigarette smoker.  That night when I returned home I discovered, to my horror, that I had burned a huge, revealing hole in the side of my beautiful dress.  What could Ernie, or any other observer, have possibly thought?

Unfortunately, this was not my only attempt at self-immolation.  Some weeks later I made a disgusting display of myself at work.  In that case the fabric of my outfit was dacron.  It mattered little that, during either event, I felt nothing as my clothes cremated themselves.  I did learn one lesson.  I stopped resting a cigarette holding hand anywhere near my waist and probably should have stopped smoking long before I actually did so.

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Author: G. Jordan Hall

I write, I read, I do crossword puzzles, I have a dog named Peach. I have been writing for over forty years. My first book was: Marching Songs. I have probably written, or at least started, twenty or so books since then. None of them were published in hard cover or even paperbook. I now have two books on line as Kindle books.

2 thoughts on “The Little Black Dress & More

  1. Your wonderful sense of humor comes out in this essay.

  2. Thank you. In retrospect, I suppose the incidents reported are somewhat humorous; but, at the time they were quite humiliating.

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