As with probably every other American in society today, I want to lose some weight. I’m not heavy, but as I’ve entered in to my 40′s, a little bit of belly fat has begun to collect around my middle, and I want it gone. The problem is, I don’t want to exercise or give up my favorite foods (ie: Coca Cola) enough to make that happen. I’m holding out for the
magic pill. I feel like we’re close now….
My husband, on the other hand, has had to deal with a bit of a weight problem most of the time I’ve known him. Bless his heart, his genetics just work against him. And each year, as we shopped for clothes that were just a wee bit bigger than last year’s, I would seek to comfort him by saying how handsome he was anyways. And I meant it. He’s always been handsome, and not just to me.
Then, in a cruel twist of fate, about 4 months ago, my rotund husband developed a lactose intolerance. Now, he has always loved milk (…gross…), and drank at least one gallon of 2% per day for his entire life. And after battling bravely to power through it, belching and farting all along the way, my animals and I had to hold an intervention to make him stop. The smell was killing us…Enter, Lactaid.
Lactaid Milk, according to my husband, was not as habit-forming as regular milk was. In fact, only recently does he have anything positive to say about it at all. But, since dairy was a no-no now, it was the only replacement that didn’t stink us out of the house. Mother of God…
And now the twist — He lost 40 lbs by just not drinking milk. He’s 10 sizes smaller!! Now, when he puts on his jeans, I have to answer the age-old women’s question — “Do these jeans make my a$$ look fat?” I can’t even copy him because I don’t drink milk. White food grosses me out.
There is no lesson in this. I just wanted to gripe about how my husband didn’t even have to try to lose weight…and how I’m sick of answering his questions about his a$$.
When are they going to finish perfecting those damn magic weight loss pills?? Forget the Juvenile Diabetes Shoes I’m buying for $1 at the pharmacy every other month…let’s see some Huge Paper Butts that I can donate my money to something a little closer to my heart….