I know it has been a while since I posted here, but it isn’t because I’d forgotten about it or that I was blowing you guys off. In a nutshell, it has been because I’ve been struggling with a bout of depression, and getting just one article out for my main site was a really hard thing to do, and getting two out was near impossible.
Lots of Christians seem to find the subject of depression uncomfortable, largely due to the fact that they see it as merely an emotion that people have when they aren’t living by faith. Anyone struggling with it will tell you, the emotion part is just a symptom of the disease. The heart of it goes to the physical misfiring in the brain and can no more be controlled than a broken arm or having a heart attack.
I used to just go to bed for a few days, sleeping away the tears and sadness, and while I did stay in bed more than I usually do, I didn’t sleep. Damn insomnia.. :) But, I made myself write once a day, and I think because of that, the episode didn’t last as long as it usually does.
Anyways, sorry I neglected you guys. Hope you will forgive me.
Love,
Bird
May 17, 2012 at 1:51 pm
I’ve been wondering why you haven’t been posting, Bird! You, and Sara too…I’ve missed you both. Will keep you in my prayers, and you’re SO not alone with this. (((((Hugs))))) I know what you mean though…we’re not ‘supposed to’ feel that way. Love you, my friend, and glad to know what’s up. Not glad about what it is…but glad to know. Thank you for posting this…and don’t worry about neglecting anyone else…do what you need to do to feel better!! <3
May 17, 2012 at 5:40 pm
Thank you, Anne! This one was particularly bad, but not so long. I’ve been worried about Sara too, but she has a real-life job, and a family, so I figure she’s been somewhat busy.. She’ll pop up again..she knows we love her!
May 17, 2012 at 6:07 pm
Well she SHOULD!! LOL And you too! Maybe it’s something in the air these days. I’ve been struggling myself lately, and know of others who have as well.
May 17, 2012 at 6:08 pm
Well, you know my theory. Satan is angry..at me, at least. :) At least I’m on the right path!!
May 17, 2012 at 6:21 pm
Amen, Sister!! :) Kick him in the butt!
May 17, 2012 at 6:23 pm
:-) Oh, you know I will…
May 17, 2012 at 2:15 pm
I’ve been missing you too, Bird. But I’m glad to see you now. Please don’t worry about depression in terms of the first sentence of your second paragraph. Just know that I’m keeping you in my prayers and will love seeing anything you write whenever you can write it. The most important thing is to take good care of yourself. I respect what you’re experiencing. It’s interesting that you think that this episode was shorter because you wrote every day. A doctor once said to me (after I’d had several epileptic seizures), “Have you ever considered that you’re better because you write?” Well, I hadn’t, but now I definitely believe that, at least for me, writing is very connected to my well-being. Be well, my friend.
May 17, 2012 at 5:41 pm
I think organizing your thoughts in print is actually helpful, but it only helps a little bit..Sometimes you just have to wait it out. :( Thank you for your sweet comment!!
May 17, 2012 at 5:46 pm
I also agree that sometimes we have to wait it out.
May 17, 2012 at 3:48 pm
Oh, it’s a disease alright, and you are welcome and encouraged to share your thoughts about it here at 20 Lines. You have been missed! But I know how life can be, so contribute when you can and consider us family that loves you and waits to hear from you. You are also encouraged to reach out to me personally if ever or whenever you wish.
Much love and peace to you, sweetheart, and mi casa es su casa … The door is ever open and we want to know how you are.
So glad to see you today.
M.
May 17, 2012 at 5:43 pm
Thank you, Melissa!! It is a crappy disease I’ve struggled with forever. Because I get edgy, I tend to avoid people altogether, but I feel like since I did keep writing, even when I didn’t feel like it, it was kind of helpful.
I appreciate the words of support and I feel the love. <3 Thank you all so much!!
May 25, 2012 at 10:27 am
I was diagnosed last week with bi polar type 2..i don’t want this disease..i hate it..i get so angry..i’m on meds i don’t want to take.i want to be who i was three years ago..
May 25, 2012 at 11:04 am
I’m from a family of bi polar type 2′s. It is a chemical problem…not a personality flaw. I had to actually forgive myself for this depression and then treat it like an illness. I’m really sorry you are struggling with this. If you ever feel like you need to vent, feel free to write to me…I find that sometimes just getting out the rage helps. :) Hope you feel better soon!
May 25, 2012 at 11:05 am
oh thank you so so much Bird..
May 25, 2012 at 11:09 am
It’s going to be okay!