I saw Maggie reference a challenge of Pat’s, which I don’t recall seeing. But it sounded interesting, so I thought I’d try it too. I’m with Maggie though…this was difficult to do! But it was fun doing something a little different. In Maggie’s post below, it says that Pat’s challenge was to write a prose piece of 150 words, and then cut it to 50 words, and then to 25 words, to see if it’s better when it’s more concise? Is that right? Personally I think 150 words was hard enough. Ha ha…but I can be long winded. Here goes! (Editing here to include the link to Pat’s post in her blog about this. It was actually 150 wds., 80, and then 25. But I did it 150, 50, and 25. Oh well. Here’s the link! Exercise in Discipline by Pat Wood)
My Friend Diana
Diana was a beautiful girl, with raven hair and a fair complexion. I loved to ride the school bus in the afternoon on those special days when I was allowed to stay overnight at her house. It was a lovely, two-story house in the country. The trim was blue, I think. It wasn’t huge, but to me it was like a palace. There were two bedrooms upstairs. Diana said one was her winter bedroom, and the other one her summer bedroom. The master bedroom where her parents slept was downstairs, off the pretty living area, with a piano that Diana’s mother would ask me to play sometimes. She always requested that I play, “Love Is Blue”, and would sit and listen while I happily complied.
Diana and her boyfriend Mark were killed instantly in a car wreck when we were fifteen. My life will always be touched by her memory. (150 words)
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The nights spent at Diana’s house in the country were always a special treat for me when I was a child. Diana was an only child, a beautiful and sweet girl, and a lovely friend. I remember that Saturday morning in 1973 when she died. Gone too soon…but not forgotten. (50 words)
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Diana was a lovely girl, and my childhood best friend. Thirty-nine years have passed, since that tragic Saturday morning, but her memory still lives on. (25 words)
August 25, 2012 at 5:42 pm
Now that I think about it, it might have been 150 words, 80, then 50. But you’ve done a great job, Anne. I think this might be on Pat’s blog.
August 25, 2012 at 5:44 pm
Oh, that’s not quite as bad if it was 80 then 50. :) It was hard cutting it to 50, then 25! As you can see, the 25 word one was just 2 lines. :) But I still enjoyed the challenge, and thank you. :)
August 25, 2012 at 6:37 pm
I’m sorry I got so much wrong about this, Anne. Thank you for finding Pat’s blog and putting a link for others so they can try the challenge. I do think it’s a great one.
August 25, 2012 at 6:50 pm
You don’t owe any apologies about it…actually, I think the challenge was just to cut a prose piece down from 150 to 25. So the in between part, while Pat used 80 words, probably is okay at 50 too. I was thinking about going ahead and trying to do an 80 word one and sticking it in there, but haven’t had time with things that are going on here. :) Thank you for posting about it! :)
August 26, 2012 at 1:59 am
I love your text, it’s very touching and beautiful ! Thank you for sharing this with us, you have a big heart.
August 26, 2012 at 7:15 am
What a very kind remark! Thank you very much!
August 26, 2012 at 5:59 am
This is lovely and perfect in all three versions. None are wrong, each has its merits and in fact, I think it could almost punctuate a novel about your life and Diana’s life. The first one at the beginning, the second halfway through as an addendum to another story and the final one as the last line.
Delightful in all its forms.
Thank you for doing this and sharing with us. So glad you took up the challenge.
August 26, 2012 at 7:21 am
Thank you very much for the very kind critique, Pat! And thank you for the challenge. I enjoyed it, and will have to practice with it more! :)
August 26, 2012 at 7:32 am
:-)