Stop telling me I can’t eat this
and I can’t eat that
I mustn’t eat sugar
and I shouldn’t eat fat:
The tuna’s full of mercury, arsenic’s in the rice
salt’s in my baked beans and organic’s such a price!
My gran died at eight six (yes, Death got her in the end),
but no one told her what to eat and drove her round the bend.
She didn’t eat the brown bread, preferred her crusty white,
liked bacon, cheese and butter and a big unhealthy bite
of chocolate – no, not that, it’s such a sin!
Hide it in a plastic bag and put it in the bin.
ate her greens and fruit
but never played squash
nor went on any diet
- thought they were hogwash.
She was full of fun and laughter, enjoyed life to the full,
Units of alcohol? – She thought that was all bull.
A little of what you fancy, don’t over-indulge
(except maybe at Christmas!) ‘cos it causes tummy bulge!
Stop telling us we can’t eat this
and leave us all alone.
All things in moderation
is what we should intone.
If you say we mustn’t, then that’s what we want to do -
We ‘ll behave like naughty children, not listening to you!