I have lost a child, a teen with his life and future ahead of him.
It broke me-my body, soul and spirit.
And then there was you-mom.
When my son, I lost what I dreamed of,
With you, I lost the chance to really know you.
You were private, you kept things to yourself.
You had just began to tell me the things
that made you who you were-
I keep thinking that if you had told me, sooner,
it would have saved me so much pain.
Never-I loathe that word. Never again.
Today I put flowers on two graves -yours and his.
I am sickened by what my life has become.
It has never been as I dreamed,
And often been nearly unbearable.
It seems others take loss and go on with life.
I don’t understand it and never will.
How can others go on with what made life a joy?
When I am forced to exist without what made me live at all.
January 12, 2013 at 10:16 pm
This was so sad and beautiful… thank you beebee..I wish you strength.
January 12, 2013 at 10:33 pm
THANK YOU FOR READING AND FOR YOUR COMMENT ON MY BLOG. BEEBEE
January 12, 2013 at 10:47 pm
Thank you bee for writing this. I get that feeling sometimes that I’ve lost what was most precious to me. What’s become of my heart and soul, feels like they have been ripped out of me, as if I were a living dead. Surviving on my own with my ghosts and this crazy world around…What’s the sense of it all ? Feels like it’s disappeared. God only knows. I don’t ! I turned to God and the result is finally that I don’t think that I am any worth. . I don’t think I have done that leap of faith. So sad…
I wish you joy inside your tears, like in the song by Stevie Wonder.
I wish you little moments of happiness stolen to the violence of this world, hidden from its ugliness.
Please take good care of yourself,
cheers
Antoine
January 12, 2013 at 11:23 pm
I appreciate your thoughts and sharing your feelings.It is good to know that others feel like I do. Thank you for reading my blog. I find yours to be heartwarming and honest as well. Beebee
January 13, 2013 at 12:59 am
Thank you for your kind heart, beebee. I hope to keep reading you as you keep reading me. With love and hugs,
Antoine
January 13, 2013 at 10:10 am
HUGS from NH home to you a lick from JT too.
Stay strong and be KIND to YOURSELF
January 13, 2013 at 11:01 am
So sorry. I understand that empty feeling, and the questioning of why. I lost my Mom 3 weeks ago, it hurts and there’s nothing anybody can do about it. But one thing I know is neither of our Moms want our hearts to be filled with sorrow. For them… laugh, and enjoy the precious life they gave us.