20 Lines A Day

A Community of Writers and Photographers


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The Long Road

Today I decided to drive around in my Donot car along the road of life. It broke down somewhere between Whatsthe Point and Crying Streams. I looked for the exit but there were no rest stops in sight. I asked passersby about the happy median, but no one had seen it for miles. Tried the emergency phone, but kept getting wrong numbers. Seems I had gotten a flat tire from the depression in the road. Tomorrow I think I’ll give my Tryand Car a try. Wish me luck.


Tell me

My son, My son. Please, tell me there will be a cure in your lifetime. That you will not have to suffer as I do. That you will not have to rely on medications your whole life and have to pray they keep working. Tell me you will have a choice to live up to your potential. That everyday life will not become a burden to you. Tell me I am not to blame for birthing you into this life we have to lead. Tell me it’s OK that you have Bi-Polar Disorder as I do. Please, tell me you will not end up like me.


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Down

down deep in the hole again,

depression my old frienemy,

looking up,

searching for the light,

trying not to let this get to me,

crying, praying, shouting out,

“Why me” rears his ugly head,

remember what it’s all about,

quickly put him back to bed,

knowing I must carry on,

knowing I will carry on,

knowing I can carry on,

I face the day anew.


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Being a non-smoker

I am once again a non-smoker. Notice I do not say “I have quit smoking.” My husband and I were smokers. We decided to stop. We took advantage of a church sponsored,three day camping trip, to give us a head start. We took no smoking materials and did very well. A few days later, still not smoking, I had an epiphany. We weren’t quitting a bad habit, we were taking back a good habit that we had had for the majority of our lives. I can not say how much easier it is to look at a cigarette or a smoker and not want one, when I think “I am a non-smoker,” instead of thinking about how I have just quit smoking. Here’s to being the non-smoker I was born as.


Falling

Falling down,

The slope steepens again,

jack and jill,

now climb a mountain instead,

the Well of Life,

so  close and yet so far,

why must my path,

change into a quagmire,

every time,

I feel the wind on my face,

see the top,

it happens,

I fall down again.


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Don’t Pity Me (a song)

There’s a murder of crows in your front yard

Just a subtle reminder that you went too far

There’s a voodoo doll in my side drawer

With your picture on it

Don’t pity me

I’m not helpless anymore

What’s sanity?

But a house without a door

Between you and me

I am all the better for

The day I lost you

There’s a tingle down my spine that I can’t explain

When you’re treating me wrong

And I don’t complain

There’s a darkness inside that will not be tamed

But I’m glad I lost you

Don’t pity me

I’m not helpless anymore

What’s sanity?

But a house without a door

Between you and me

I am all the better for

The day I lost you

(repeat)

And I’m glad I lost you


“awake”

I wrote this in 6th or 7th grade

Awake,

Midnight,

One light,

Barely touches the dark,

alone,

unseen,

unheard,

one soul,

cries out in the dark,

morning comes,

don the mask,

smile,

play pretend,

night falls,

darkness comes,

the tears fall down,

their well known path again.

 


first step

Lost in limbo,

waiting for answers,

they can never be found,

without movement,

there are no grounds,

for life or communication,

you must take a step,

waiting brings atrophy,

nothingness,

I’ll wait no more,

first step is the hardest.


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goodbye

goodbye my old unwanted friend

seeker of misery

the reflection in the mirror

that won’t shut up

goodbye feelings of worthlessness

hopelessness is no more

hope sprouts golden in the sun

the future seems brighter

goodbye past hurts and mistakes

I forgive you your transgressions

I forgive me

Today I take my first step into the dawn.

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