The dark, cold, loneliness of rejection still fills my soul. A part of me will always be dead. Over thirty years later, reading your obituary still brought tears of rejection to my eyes.
As she whispers to herself,
her shouts become shadows,
and heartbeats chime thirteen;
the pain in her chest is not surpassed,
by the memory of just before midnight.
Why did she stay? When all about said,
run, flee, escape, (or) you’ll rue the day.
Holding a bouquet of disdain,
she will mourn the bride,
and hide the pain.
© Beyond Cinderella 01.02.13
by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
How can I go on
Everything’s upside down
Remains of what we once were is the
Tears that flood my eyes
Bitter tears, leaving me to
Rue the day that you
Ever walked into my life
And made me believe in your
Moved through life as if with a scythe?
Causing pain, causing retreat…defeat.
Do you ever sit and ponder your havoc?
Do you ever pray not just for forgiveness,
but for the rebirth of those left behind?
Partly to assuage your guilt, partly to
give life again to a lovely heart; you lay
in the dark praying for good things to
befall the sweetness that is not yours.
Put down your scythe!
Pray they open the door to their happiness.
“my heart grieves” she says
and i ask
“why does your heart grieve?”
“because i know that the love
we used to share has died…it seems
all that’s left in its place is the memory
of how it used to be…a memory
of how it used to feel…”
and the only answer i could
give her was my silence
and a guilty stare into the space
past her…but then i took her hand in mine
and felt her fingers in between
the spaces of my own…it didn’t feel the same…
and i said
“indeed…the love we once shared
has died…buried beneath
painful memories and broken promises…”
she looked at me and i looked away
to hide the tears…and the silence
that followed became our last “goodbye”…
like the moon,
you speak to me
in your silence…
you touch me with just your
look…and caress my soul
with your music….
like the meadowlark
you sing to me
in my dreams…
i am lulled into a peaceful
slumber and kept in
a gentle sway with
the melody of your song…
i am captivated with
the lightness of your ideas…
and charmed by your intellect…
i think you’ve cast a spell on me
though you will never
be mine…i am forever yours…