20 Lines A Day

A Community of Writers and Photographers

OVID says…

Since I’ve been talking of and showing art, plus poetry, I thought I’d leave you with a quote from Ovid –

Of its own accord my song would come in the right

rhythms, and what I was trying to say was poetry.

Well lucky Ovid!

Sometimes my ‘song’ comes in the night,

and sometimes rhymes,

but mostly if it comes out right …

the rhyme marches in thyme



Slow Day

Stats van www.samoera.com






I’ve checked my stats,

it’s so slow today.

What’s going on?

No one’s reading poetry.


I’ve checked the counter,

and gave it a tap.

I think it is broken –

well… this is crap!


I’ve writ my heart out!

(at least I’ve tried…)

What’s going on?

Have my followers died?


I’m clicking refresh,

and I’ve broken F5!

Still no views –

anyone alive?


I’ll keep a check.

C’mon orange square-

please flash up…

show that someone cares!


© Slow Day 2012

By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Stats van http://www.samoera.com (Photo credit: Peter Forret)


Challenge… No, just write! :)

All the writers over here at 20 lines as well as elsewhere on wordpress, here is a poetry challenge in which you have to write a humorous poem regarding your most favourite possession which has become an intricate part of your life and it is very difficult for you to imagine spending days without it.

Here is my poem-

Oh thee, my hair band,

The one that can be worn by men and alone men.

Thy existence makes my day,

Marks the wave you provide to my hay like hair,

Oh thee, my hair band,

I love thee, my hair band.

That is plain ridiculous, I know. But I want to read what you all beautiful bloggers come up with in this cheesy sort of challenge.


Never Trust a Faerie

English: Title: "Fairies Looking Through ...

English: Title: “Fairies Looking Through A Gothic Arch” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)








Never trust a faerie,
‘tho pretty they may seem,
for when you are not looking,
they swear, and spit, and scream.

Do not be fooled by faerie’s,
their legendry looks well known,
they are not sweet, like in the books,
so please do not be thrown.

Depicted as the sweetest sight,
with wings that flitter and flutter,
dresses made of gossamer,
they melt your heart like butter.

It’s little known that faeries bite,
or that they would cause harm;
please don’t blame the insects,
for that nip upon your arm.

With golden curls that tumble down,
around their tiny frame,
with mischief and with sabotage,
the faeries are to blame.

When things go wrong around the house,
you know they are at play,
they wreck you plans, and break your things,
and ruin a good day.

You may think it is admirable,
they collect teeth from your mouth,
but how do you think they get so loose?
They punch the milk teeth out!

Never trust a faerie,
they are evil, sour, and bitter.
Do not be fooled by how they look,
an angry dragon’s sweeter!

© Faeries 2012
By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm


So, A Child Molester and a Little Kid are Walking into A Forest…

Update: I was confused about why the pope picture kept coming up on my search…I figured WordPress was goofing with me, or misunderstood what my post was all about.  HOURS LATER,  I finally get the Pope picture..I used the words child molester in the title..Sorry! I didn’t do it on purpose..lol. I don’t think all priests are child molesters…..OMG!!

So, I was reading this: Why Do Comedians have A Higher Suicide Rate and it reminded me of a therapist that I once visited.

Unimpressed with my witty diversions in our conversation, she point-blank told me that I

Pope Benedict XVI

Pope Benedict XVI (Photo credit: Wikipedia) -- Evidently, WordPress thinks this pope uses humor to divert..Every time I ran search terms related to my article on humor, comedians, suicide -- this guy's picture showed up in the first frame. LOL...

hide behind my humor. I made some quick-witted retort, and promptly left her office, but I knew she was right. In the past, the more unhappy I am, the more hilarious people around me have thought I was.

What is this phenomenon that causes the broken-hearted men and women of this world try to make others laugh? You got me. I have no idea why. I only know that it is true, because I’ve watched it happen time and again in my own family.

Hands down, my father is the funniest man I know. He sugar coats absolutely nothing, and he is irreverent, crass, bold, and given to the darkest forms of humor I’ve ever known. And believe me when I say, I have laughed at some raunchy stuff. I can’t help myself…I know, I know. Somethings aren’t funny. But in my dad’s world, nothing is off-limits. If you were to look at his life, though, you would think this man should have been living his days in the fetal position in someone’s basement. A physically abused child, he became a criminal before puberty. The one time he tried to change his course in this life, and join the Marines, he was unable to fully assimilate to the life. He married my mom, a beauty queen, who left him high and dry for a guy who made more money. She hid his kids, bankrupted him in court and emotionally as well, and, in my perception, never gave him a second thought. His only son changed his last name to his stepfather’s name, and refuses to this day to even have a conversation with him. All he has is me… (personally, I think he is lucky, because I’m clearly awesome..but who knows?) His life has been filled to the rim with pain and hardship, and yet he makes every one around him laugh, even if it is somewhat nervously. Hands down, he had the hardest life of all of us. Does his pain decide what level his ability to make others laugh is at? I have a feeling that it does.

My brother Mike was raised in the same home as I was, but his journey involved different problems. He is very close-mouthed about our childhood, choosing to focus on his future instead of sorting through his past. Yet, as a fellow survivor of that household, I see the scars on him too. He has built for himself a successful and happy family, and he is a pastor of a pretty impressive church in Colorado. He even wrote a book called How To Knock Over A 7-Eleven and Other Ministry Training. You should read it if you ever get a chance, even if you have no interest whatsoever about churches or church building. The things that have happened to him are hilarious. The guy can tell a really good story. Again, I have to ask, would he be so funny if he had had a Noodle Salad life? Don’t know what a Noodle Salad life is? Read this: Noodle Salad People.

I am told I’m funny too. I have my moments, I guess. The more nervous I am, or the more I am trying to divert your attention away from something I find uncomfortable or painful, I am pretty damn witty. The difference, though, is that I am generally a happy, peaceful person. Yes, I bear the scars of childhood sexual abuse, neglect, and a ton of other painful experiences. But, those scars are healed up, and I find that when I get rolling, I’m genuinely happy to make others laugh, and in turn, I enjoy the happiness I am feeling because they are laughing. When depression rears its ugly head in my life, I generally ride it out by sleeping or coaxing my mind to pursue happier thoughts. I hope that is what Dad and Mike are doing to. Again, same question. Did my past have anything to do with this?

It is an interesting diversion to life’s pain — humor. Does everyone, to some degree, use this tool for coping as well? I’d be really interested in hearing your thoughts on this subject.

— Bird


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