20 Lines A Day

A Community of Writers and Photographers


Tidal Wave

Woman in water

There is the path that cleanses all
inequity, yet I just sit here
staring into space, epitomizing this
headache that started even before
I was fully awake, setting sail to
pity parties in my bathtub ocean,
confined by solid walls, no tide
to refresh impurities, a fish tank
in the background the only
indication of moving water,
stirring spirit

©SpiritLed 2014


There is a place

DSCN2090

There is a place in my heart, somewhere, I am sure-
where I can still feel, still love, still care.

My world is so empty, unfulfilling, sorrowful,
I cannot remember joy, peace, wanting to wake up.

I search for my little children, the son I lost,
Those who grew up and moved on without me.

I search for a love I tried so hard to believe in,
and never spent a night without a doubt or fear.

Surely, there is a place where my mother, my son,
my life still exists, waits for me as I wait alone.

I look, I try, but the lies, the lack of caring shouts.
Around me, it is like life laughing in my face.

I am your wife, I am your mother, I am your daughter,
You cannot change that any more than I can change you.

There is a place where I will get what I have toiled for
my entire life. That I have suffered and begged for.

When I get there, some of you may be there, and then,
some of you will not. Then, finally, I will have peace.

My world is so empty, unfulfilling, sorrowful,
I cannot remember joy, peace, wanting to wake up.

I search for my little children, the son I lost,
Those who grew up and moved on without me.

I search for a love I tried so hard to believe in,
and never spent a night without a doubt or fear.

Surely, there is a place where my mother, my son,
my life still exists, waits for me as I wait alone.

I look, I try, but the lies, the lack of caring shouts.
Around me, it is like life laughing in my face.

I am your wife, I am your mother, I am your daughter,
You cannot change that any more than I can change you.

There is a place where I will get what I have toiled for
my entire life. That I have suffered and begged for.

When I get there, some of you may be there, and then,
some of you will not. Then, finally, I will have peace.


2 Comments

Attempted

Tears streaming down her face,

Her hands over her ears because the sound was too loud

Flinging herself on the bed

still cringing in disbelief

She can’t take it anymore

She’s tired of hearing people say,

You might as well take a whole  bottle of pills and kill yourself,

Your ungrateful like your mammy,

Look at me when I am talking to you

She is drowning

and everybody that she trusted turned out to be the wrong people

She’s hurt that words can’t describe the feelings in her chest that seems stuck.

Why did she even come home

If she knew this was a continuation

of where she left off at

she would have just stayed

and it wouldn’t have been about a bottle of pills

but someone’s hand of rage

that could have ended it all.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA


1 Comment

They Needed Me As Much As I needed Them/Daily Prompt: Silver Linings

Originally posted on Living and Lovin:

I was still injured but I needed a job.

I used to drive a “big rig”  but then I was hit,  by that bus.

I went through the savings which were sadly,  as in most case, s never enough.

I saw an Ad in a local paper for a Special Needs School Bus Driver,  surely I could drive a small van.

I applied for the position and they could clearly see my wounds but it was the ones inside that hurt the worst.
Due to my physical injuries I was given the troubled youths to transport to schools where they did not want to attend.

Many never even bothered  to get up and shower and dress for the day,  never mind step into the van.  Very sad.

One by one as they entered my school bus I introduced myself,  the one with the huge blue knee brace on.

I asked…

View original 302 more words


sad way

thCAW0NR7V

often in
vulnerable
moments

or any
random
millisecond

in
the
tiniest

stain

scent

syllable

spark

igniting its
p a i n f u l
memory

because

i hold so near
the echo of
e a c h

tear

i

ever

caused

…and regrets
and my searing
m e l a n c h o l y

but
if this
is the

story
of the
world

unfolded

why such
a sad way to
…finally reach

shore

home

find

love

y o u ?
.
.
.


.
We only hurt the ones we love
Why we don’t need a reason
Gonna get all that you deserve
And all that you believe in

Beth Orton


2 Comments

Stay

I struggle to live and breathe when I see,

The love that you have for the broken, sad me.

In spite of my pain, you touch me and say,

I love you, my mom,I’m here,It’s OK.

if only you had what you really need.

Your brother alive and the mom I should be.

Hold my hand, my sweet baby, so I won’t slip away.

There’s part of him in you,and both want me to stay.


After My Son Was Gone

Originally posted on Living and Lovin:

After I had my son there was no reason for me to stay in the hospital.  He was healthy and beautiful and nurses,  bless them,  kept bringing him in only to say OOPS, sorry, do you want to hold him?  I asked the doctor if I could get discharged,  he understood and said it would be OK,  good thing as I was going anyway.  I had things to do.

 

It was mid February and there had been snow. Mom came to get me as I had stayed the last 2 months at home and my car was there.  I was in a hurry to find an apartment.  I needed to get out of the family home,  no reason to cause them more pain seeing me each and every day in pain and tears.

 

I worked at  the factory where I had been for three years.  They had taken…

View original 1,858 more words


TRUCKING the last years

Originally posted on Living and Lovin:

Trucking

My Last Rig

It has been a very long time since I looked at this photo.  I used to miss this truck so much, then it was the girl  I was, who had gone missing.

Let me tell you some background since a few have asked about the days I spent behind the wheel of an 18 Wheeler(this one has 22 ) .

So much happened before I became a trucker, guess you would surmise that,  as young girls really did not drive tractor-trailer trucks  in the mid to late 70′s,  well not in New England especially.

So do I begin here with this time period in the photo or go from the start?

I think I will do this blog from just before  the time I bought her till I said goodbye,  as there really is an awful lot for this  story.

I was divorced in 1995  and as part of the…

View original 1,817 more words


3 Comments

The Weeping Willow Tree Owner

The yard as I have known her is changing

I am at constant battle with a huge rodent.

They are either trying to flood us out with all their damming.

To now their intent is to level the whole south side of our  home.

So many hours spent

I am hell-bent not to let them win.

So we will take her down ourselves.

As safely as we can.

Oh the Joys of Home Ownership.

more detailed piece at Living and Lovin

:)


Breaking – Up

Don’t walk out the door

How will I cope when you are not here?

Please don’t leave me

Will you even care if I shed a tear?

We laughed but only yesterday

Now you want to go?

I don’t understand… please talk to me?

You are my love, my world, my beau

Couples fights and then make up

Can’t we talk this through?

Stay with me…talk to me

Please can’t we do that too?

The sound of the door closing

I stand numb with tears on cheek,

I see the clothes strewn on the floor

Can’t breathe, my heart feels weak

You have gone, I stumble from the room

I fall to floor upon my knees

My breath in gasps… it’s hard to breathe

My body shakes…eyes closed…can’t see

I rock like that of a child

Thinking this isn’t true

You have left..gone from my life

Come back, return…I love you

My tears… my body aching

I’ve lost all control

The pain it cuts into me

That of a knife into my soul

I cannot think, I only feel

I want the pain to go away

I’m alone, I’m scared my world now black

I love you…can you hear me?…come back….come back…come back

 


Brilliant blooms of Autumn

Spray the horizon with

red, yellow and orange hues of sadness

Reflecting the final tiny shards of illumination

As daylight slowly weeps behind

The jagged skyline.

 

Misty rain calms the changing wind,

Bluffing the clarity of reality

Vivid angles curl in ambiguous circles

Lines of division swirl

Confusing the point of indecision

With a beginning or an end.

 

Saturated air chills from the inside out

Shivering and silent

Like a wild animal stalking prey

Unwilling to make a sound

Unable to prevent an inevitable freeze

Of apathy and fear.

 

Buried deep, beneath the layers

Crumpled and decayed with the turn of many seasons

A primal strength whimpers.

Depth can only muffle the scream.

Darkness can only dim the light.

Gaining courage

Boiling toward the surface

At once realizing and relinquishing the pain.


Winter’s Nocturnes – A Sestina

He sits down.

Melodies unfurl with a twitch, a light trill,
And the man leans back, savouring every note
Cloaked in black, and stained with tears,
Winter’s gifts a forgotten sight. Under the stars,
He bows his head, straightens his back, and the haunting
Begins. He slams on the piano keys, sorrow a dark cloud.

He remembers lying down, watching the clouds,
He remembers the chirping birds’ magnificent trill,
He remembers her – her bright green eyes haunting
His own. Her hand, knotted
With his. He remembers lying down, watching the stars
As each twinkled, then faded, merely a tiny tear.

Yet her soulless body besieged his mind, tattered and torn.
Each passing bar, a doubtful cloud.
He sees not the stars.
He hears not the trill.
But only senses the funeral of the notes.
Like death angels chanting, dancing, haunting.

He plays to hunt
Her spirit, to guide her to fill the tear
In his heart. Each note
Forms her silhouette, dimly glowing against the black clouds,
Against the wintry mist. She smiles at each familiar trill,
Her eyes are gold, like the stars.

The music makes the fair moon and stars
Weep, for its haunting
Siren beseeches attention. Hark! Music flows like a rill,
As his fingers dance over the piano. Too abruptly, it stops. The air tears.
He hovers on the piano, like a cloud,
Contemplating. contemplating. contemplating. Too soon the notes

stop

for your reference:
Word 1: trill
Word 2: note
Word 3: tear
Word 4: star
Word 5: haunt
Word 6: cloud


2 Comments

Digging deeper

 

I know you’re unhappy. I see your sad

face and wish there was something I could do

to lift your mood and show the world’s not bad

that in time all will be well, even you.

You’ve dug yourself an even bigger hole

and from its depths you can’t see any light.

I know you no longer have any goal

No energy, no hope and no more fight.

I feel your pain and taste your growing fears

that this is all there’s left for you right now,

that even as I mop your tidal tears

you’re planning how to leave with one last bow.

I pray that you will just stay by my side

till pain recedes and you no longer hide.

 

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 3,323 other followers

%d bloggers like this: