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The final day of vacation holds a sadness
a knowing that the hermit life created for a time must end
that all the sandy remnants washed upon the shore
which once housed life
now provide enjoyment for collectors

as their broken parts begin to renourish the shoreline
as your broken parts started to renourish while on temporary retreat

Yet the wholeness is still fleeting
as soon as the water washes upon the shore
it just as quickly recedes
and even an extended solitary stay
cannot stop the feeling
of slipping away

And so the melancholy pervades
even as the others play and walk the beach
in quiet confidence of more time

More time –
     It’s what you always want
     no matter the endeavor

More time to hug your children
More time to finish your work
More time to stay still

More –
     Nothing is ever enough

Why can’t the blessed moments in life be enough
     without wanting more?

Each moment is encapsulated in the now, past and
     future are no longer or not yet real

More implies lack, and looking out at this expanse
     you know you want for nothing
     except for More

Each shell you collected is real today but gone tomorrow
     and you still want More

Each day a gift, never to be received again
     and yet you sit, melancholy on the sand
     counting the hours until you must part
     rather than counting the waves, the shells,
     the single grains of sand that could fill up
     an entire lifetime of More

Waves, shells, sand
     they know everything comes to an end
     transition is the only way to sustain life
     they share their wisdom
     for those who are open to hear
     those who dare to turn their backs on More

SpiritLed 2014


Tidal Wave

Woman in water

There is the path that cleanses all
inequity, yet I just sit here
staring into space, epitomizing this
headache that started even before
I was fully awake, setting sail to
pity parties in my bathtub ocean,
confined by solid walls, no tide
to refresh impurities, a fish tank
in the background the only
indication of moving water,
stirring spirit

©SpiritLed 2014


There is a place

DSCN2090

There is a place in my heart, somewhere, I am sure-
where I can still feel, still love, still care.

My world is so empty, unfulfilling, sorrowful,
I cannot remember joy, peace, wanting to wake up.

I search for my little children, the son I lost,
Those who grew up and moved on without me.

I search for a love I tried so hard to believe in,
and never spent a night without a doubt or fear.

Surely, there is a place where my mother, my son,
my life still exists, waits for me as I wait alone.

I look, I try, but the lies, the lack of caring shouts.
Around me, it is like life laughing in my face.

I am your wife, I am your mother, I am your daughter,
You cannot change that any more than I can change you.

There is a place where I will get what I have toiled for
my entire life. That I have suffered and begged for.

When I get there, some of you may be there, and then,
some of you will not. Then, finally, I will have peace.

My world is so empty, unfulfilling, sorrowful,
I cannot remember joy, peace, wanting to wake up.

I search for my little children, the son I lost,
Those who grew up and moved on without me.

I search for a love I tried so hard to believe in,
and never spent a night without a doubt or fear.

Surely, there is a place where my mother, my son,
my life still exists, waits for me as I wait alone.

I look, I try, but the lies, the lack of caring shouts.
Around me, it is like life laughing in my face.

I am your wife, I am your mother, I am your daughter,
You cannot change that any more than I can change you.

There is a place where I will get what I have toiled for
my entire life. That I have suffered and begged for.

When I get there, some of you may be there, and then,
some of you will not. Then, finally, I will have peace.


2 Comments

Attempted

Tears streaming down her face,

Her hands over her ears because the sound was too loud

Flinging herself on the bed

still cringing in disbelief

She can’t take it anymore

She’s tired of hearing people say,

You might as well take a whole  bottle of pills and kill yourself,

Your ungrateful like your mammy,

Look at me when I am talking to you

She is drowning

and everybody that she trusted turned out to be the wrong people

She’s hurt that words can’t describe the feelings in her chest that seems stuck.

Why did she even come home

If she knew this was a continuation

of where she left off at

she would have just stayed

and it wouldn’t have been about a bottle of pills

but someone’s hand of rage

that could have ended it all.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA


1 Comment

They Needed Me As Much As I needed Them/Daily Prompt: Silver Linings

Originally posted on Living and Lovin:

I was still injured but I needed a job.

I used to drive a “big rig”  but then I was hit,  by that bus.

I went through the savings which were sadly,  as in most case, s never enough.

I saw an Ad in a local paper for a Special Needs School Bus Driver,  surely I could drive a small van.

I applied for the position and they could clearly see my wounds but it was the ones inside that hurt the worst.
Due to my physical injuries I was given the troubled youths to transport to schools where they did not want to attend.

Many never even bothered  to get up and shower and dress for the day,  never mind step into the van.  Very sad.

One by one as they entered my school bus I introduced myself,  the one with the huge blue knee brace on.

I asked…

View original 302 more words


sad way

thCAW0NR7V

often in
vulnerable
moments

or any
random
millisecond

in
the
tiniest

stain

scent

syllable

spark

igniting its
p a i n f u l
memory

because

i hold so near
the echo of
e a c h

tear

i

ever

caused

…and regrets
and my searing
m e l a n c h o l y

but
if this
is the

story
of the
world

unfolded

why such
a sad way to
…finally reach

shore

home

find

love

y o u ?
.
.
.


.
We only hurt the ones we love
Why we don’t need a reason
Gonna get all that you deserve
And all that you believe in

Beth Orton


2 Comments

Stay

I struggle to live and breathe when I see,

The love that you have for the broken, sad me.

In spite of my pain, you touch me and say,

I love you, my mom,I’m here,It’s OK.

if only you had what you really need.

Your brother alive and the mom I should be.

Hold my hand, my sweet baby, so I won’t slip away.

There’s part of him in you,and both want me to stay.

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