I want to share one of my favorite songs “You Were There.” My song is for both my parents. I was very close with my parents all of my life and watching them decline has been a painful process. My father died last May. My mother has severe dementia and cannot really speak. But she still recognizes me and smiles with joy whenever I am near. Clicking the blue link plays my song:
My lyrics in development. They were written with the fact that I knew my father was dying.
My song “Clear” was composed exactly one year ago.
I feel like my life is a musical. For three decades, I lived with a lot of sadness, but when I rediscovered my music and songwriting – I found joy again. My songs played throughout my day and told the story of my life.
My song Clear was particularly inspiring. I might have achieved the clarity I wrote about in my song, but it took far more than that to change my life.
Overcoming and letting go of fear was my greatest challenge. But I did it. I was able to move forward to change my life.
Wish me luck in 2013, as I embark on a new life. I am living on my own for the first time after ending my 31-year marriage.
My song, “Alabaster Seashell” began with three simple stanzas I wrote when I was 17. I vaguely remembered only part of the melody for the “Alabaster Seashell.” But it was the beautiful chord progressions, which utilized a different guitar tuning, that enraptured me. I knew my song needed something more, but I had no idea how I was going to expand my song about a seashell. I started to experiment to see what I could come up with.
I have always loved seashells and deeply appreciated their indescribable beauty. When my art career first began, I received an assignment to create a series of eight, large paintings of seashells, which would be marketed as prints. As I painted dozens of seashells, I became quite familiar with their intricate shapes and colors.
I was surprised how telling the story of a seashell memento also stirred up many emotions inside of me. My memories of collecting seashells began during childhood. I kept jars of them in my bedroom and each shell represented a beautiful memory of a day spent searching the seashore. With those feelings, I started to compose some new lyrics to add to my song, but then I had such a major revelation with “The Alabaster Seashell” that it took my breath away.
My song was originally based upon the story of a boyfriend giving me a seashell when I was in my teens. With that story, I pictured myself older and looking back at the treasured memory my boyfriend gave me long ago, after we were no longer in love. But as I sang my old melody, suddenly my heart took me somewhere else. I was swept to a clear day at the beach. I squinted as the brilliant sun warmed my soul. My young son was walking with me along the seashore. Then, he bent down and excitedly cupped a sparkling white seashell in his hands to show me. His blue eyes were shining. The revelation of how my song had changed and the memory of that tender moment caused me to become overwhelmed with emotion. I realized that I had discovered how my song could be expanded.
I decided that a seashell was a beautiful metaphor about seeing death in a positive way. The creature that once inhabited the seashell left something beautiful behind when it died. Although the creature was gone, the seashell could bring comfort with its beauty and with the memories. The “Alabaster Seashell” reminded me of a magnificent day combing the beach with Jason. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I quickly scrawled out additional lyrics for my song.
These are original pages where I developed new lyrics for a song I wrote when I was 17.
My song, “Set You Free” is one of my favorites. There are many ways that I relate to my song. I share more about it in a moment. Recently, I was very moved by a blog about a woman who is caring for her terminally ill daughter. It is getting close to the end now. I reached out and sent my song and words to this mother.
I was very inspired to know that out of hundreds of messages, she chose to post my song and mention how much it helped her.
There is nothing more meaningful in my life right now than that.
Clicking the blue title below, is a link to Tersia’s blog:
I wrote these words six months before my father died:
My song, “Set You Free” was born when I was feeling sad on Cheryl’s birthday. It was hard for me to believe that it had been almost three years since Cheryl died; sometimes it was easier to imagine that she was still alive and living far away. When we were older, life was busy but I missed our former closeness. Sometimes, there were special moments when I could hear her voice; it was recognizable and always comforting. There was no mistaking the cackle in it; we both used to laugh so easily. The smile in her voice was like music filling my mind, traveling straight to my heart and spreading comfort throughout my body. Those times were fleeting, but it was always music that brought Cheryl back to me.
I was sad because I knew Cheryl would have had some wisdom to offer me as I coped with my parents’ suffering. My mother’s dementia was worsening. She still recognized me, but was often terribly confused and anxious. My father was now in a wheelchair and plagued by constant infections; he would say he wasn’t in pain but he continuously moaned under his breath. A few moments earlier, I had spoken with him on the phone; he was very sick and refused to allow me to take him to the hospital.
And so it was on that stressful day, that Cheryl visited me. I was listening to one of the songs I wrote for her in my darkened bedroom, and my tears began to flow. I cried because it was hard to accept that she was really gone. But then, I heard Cheryl’s voice and her sweet encouragement. Gently, she reminded me that I was not alone; she would always be with me, especially when I played my guitar. After her voice quieted, I stood up to address my emptiness inside. My eyes still wet with tears, as I explored new fingerings on my guitar and soon beautiful chords began to appear; my melancholy was gone.
I put down my guitar to answer the phone. The call was to inform me that my father was being taken to a nearby hospital emergency room by ambulance. I left in the summer twilight to go to the hospital. When I returned home it was very late and I couldn’t sleep. I fingerpicked my guitar and felt inspired; lyrics formed in my mind to go with the beautiful new guitar chords I had discovered the day before. My new song, which I named “Set You Free,” began with the words: “You’re hanging on, as night turns to dawn.”
Acceptance is truly what “Set You Free” is about. My lyric line of “There is no fear and your leaving is clear,” is completely honest. As a result of my happiness and newfound clarity about life, I was confident that even with separation, both of us would be all right. Relating that to my children was easy. With my parents, it meant that my uncertainty and fear about death was gone. This revelation was quite profound for me. I felt ready to face the unknown.
It was because I had decided that life was all about arrivals and departures.
Because my songs come from my subconscious, sometimes I find my lyrics to carry additional meanings for me later on. I began to picture Cheryl as I sang the lyrics, because she had inspired me to compose the first chords of my song.
But it was my chorus lyrics of: “your smile, your touch, your voice, your face, your essence I will never replace,” that perfectly expressed my deep longing for Jason, and caused me to become emotional when I sang them. Jason was my child who died many years ago, when he was only five years old.
Yet not long after my song was written, I was singing those words and I realized that my emotions weren’t related to pain or sadness. As I remembered Jason’s unforgettable essence, I was overcome by deep gratitude. I had finally let go of my grief for him.
It was then that I understood.
I realized that my song was about setting myself free.
My passion is music and songwriting and I want to share a little poetry surrounding two songs that I wrote when I was a teenager.
One song is named “Autumn Recollections” and the other is “Alone.” I recorded them together and they both definitely have a certain mood and express deep loneliness.
I share first calligraphy of my lyrics that I created in college. Below it are some thoughts of mine about death, which relate to my song “Alone.”
Here are links to the music and story of these two songs:
I wasn’t sure how to relate my post to December, and I realize I am sharing more than twenty lines. What I want to say very succinctly is that the holidays are very difficult and lonely for people who are carrying the burden of grief. Grief doesn’t magically disappear. It lingers and bites during holidays, because holidays are when we miss those special people who were ripped from our life.
Please remember people who are grieving in December. They need support, love and understanding. Never tell them that it’s time to move on. Just be there for them – and listen.
Opening up to share my honest feelings changed my life. Two years ago I started a blog. Not long after that, I began to play my guitar again after 30 years.
I had no idea how sad I was. I had a child who died many years earlier. I also raised 3 children and there were many challenges involved with them. I was responsible for my elderly parents. My mother had severe dementia and my father died in May.
In July of this year, I finally found my courage to separate from my husband of 31 years. I credit my music for my healing and have been creating an audio book that tells my story.
Often, I write about my feelings and magically a song appears for me. Sometimes I hear the chords first. Other times I write the lyrics. Two weeks ago, I wrote a story that I named “When Noise Turned to Music.” My husband usually had the television on and I hated being in my bedroom. I do not own a T.V. where I am now and I treasure the peacefulness!
My lyrics in progress.
This past week, I wrote the lyrics for my new song. I am in the process of finalizing the guitar and melody for it. Once I record my guitar, I then work on creating an arrangement with George Reich. Arranging a song is one of the greatest pleasures in life for me.
Since I am new to Twenty Lines, I am excited to introduce myself. My name is Judy Unger. I was an illustrator for 30 years. But for the last two years, I have dedicated myself to writing and music.
I am excited to share my lyrics for “Noise Turned to Music.” I have an acoustic recording of my song in progress on my blog.
The last line of my song is “my music saved me.” I had a few other choices for that line. I considered: my music freed me or my music changed me. The concept of being saved sounded a little desperate. It made me think of circumstances such as being saved from drowning or a fire – of saving one’s life.
But honestly, my music did save me. Before I found my music, my life was dark and empty. Now I’m filled with beautiful music that keeps me inspired and joyful.
